Saturday, 16 October 2010

What those Middle Classes are Funding #2


Prisoners must be given a choice of at least five different dishes for dinner, it emerged last night. Under new rules quickly dubbed ‘Porridge à la Carte’ – inmates will be presented with a menu from which to select their desired meal from the five on offer.

Governors must change the menu regularly to ensure the same options do not appear more than once a month. The order dictating the changes even insists that prisoners are ‘consulted’ about the quality of meals served. Prisons minister Crispin Blunt (another NOT REALLY A CONSERVATIVE MP), who previously gave the go-ahead for Halloween and Christmas parties for inmates, is responsible for prisoner food rules.Mr Blunt provoked outrage within weeks of his appointment by lifting the ban on taxpayer-funded prisoner parties and comedy workshops for high security inmates.

The MP for Reigate – who is the uncle of actress Emily Blunt – was swiftly slapped down by Downing Street, and the decision reversed the following day. He was slapped down again after he said criminals could get their jail sentences slashed if they said sorry (preparing the ground for himself and others no doubt).. And there was further outrage when it emerged that newly-released prisoners are being offered free mobile phones in a taxpayer-funded ‘welcome pack’ when they arrive at bail hostels.

Critics described the regulations as ‘lunacy’. The rules, issued by the Ministry of Justice and sent to every jail in England and Wales, came into force on October 1 but were only published yesterday.

Diktats include that drug addicts trying to get clean should be given hot chocolate because it is ‘comforting’ (I'm actually going throw something in a minute).

New inmates must be given an arrival pack containing tea and coffee, sweets and cigarettes (don't forget the XBox and Sky Satellite TV).

Every menu must also include a halal meal that complies with the Islamic code on how animals should be slaughtered (well of course it should, we can't risk upsetting the muslim brotherhood while they're training) and of course, catering for vegetarians!

Is this bloke mental or does he just reside on another planet? If I were in charge of prisons, they would be on deserted rocky islands where hard labour is required every day after a bowl of good Scots Porridge Oats. No cigarettes, no Sky, no fucking menu.... no rights.

Fiona McEvoy, of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, said: “While the law-abiding brace themselves for cuts in services, criminals are being fed better than patients, schoolchildren and the elderly in many cases.” Quite!

Yep, it's clobbering those hard working taxpayers again....What was Nick Clegg said again?


  1. There was a canard doing the rounds a while ago that a mass swap should be done, transferring prisoners into state care homes for the elderly and old people into prisons, where they could at last be sure of hot meals, regular baths, clean clothing and the undivided attention of staff.

  2. He's a liberal. So is a big chuck of that pretending to be Conservative. I would favour one meal - porridge - and no choice at all. They eat, they starve.

  3. "to ensure the same options do not appear more than once a month"

    Supposing an inmate actually wanted chips every day? I guess that wouldn't be allowed on health grounds...

    I look forward to my meal choice in a little while - boiled eggs and bread soldiers, or beans & chips. And I've got to prepare it myself...

  4. let them eat each other.