THE STORY OF CRISPIN AND OUR 5* TAXPAYER FUNDED PRISONS!
Prisoners must be given a choice of at least five different dishes for dinner, it emerged last night. Under new rules quickly dubbed ‘Porridge à la Carte’ – inmates will be presented with a menu from which to select their desired meal from the five on offer.
Governors must change the menu regularly to ensure the same options do not appear more than once a month. The order dictating the changes even insists that prisoners are ‘consulted’ about the quality of meals served. Prisons minister Crispin Blunt (another NOT REALLY A CONSERVATIVE MP), who previously gave the go-ahead for Halloween and Christmas parties for inmates, is responsible for prisoner food rules.Mr Blunt provoked outrage within weeks of his appointment by lifting the ban on taxpayer-funded prisoner parties and comedy workshops for high security inmates.
The MP for Reigate – who is the uncle of actress Emily Blunt – was swiftly slapped down by Downing Street, and the decision reversed the following day. He was slapped down again after he said criminals could get their jail sentences slashed if they said sorry (preparing the ground for himself and others no doubt).. And there was further outrage when it emerged that newly-released prisoners are being offered free mobile phones in a taxpayer-funded ‘welcome pack’ when they arrive at bail hostels.
Critics described the regulations as ‘lunacy’. The rules, issued by the Ministry of Justice and sent to every jail in England and Wales, came into force on October 1 but were only published yesterday.
Diktats include that drug addicts trying to get clean should be given hot chocolate because it is ‘comforting’ (I'm actually going throw something in a minute).
New inmates must be given an arrival pack containing tea and coffee, sweets and cigarettes (don't forget the XBox and Sky Satellite TV).
Every menu must also include a halal meal that complies with the Islamic code on how animals should be slaughtered (well of course it should, we can't risk upsetting the muslim brotherhood while they're training) and of course, catering for vegetarians!
Is this bloke mental or does he just reside on another planet? If I were in charge of prisons, they would be on deserted rocky islands where hard labour is required every day after a bowl of good Scots Porridge Oats. No cigarettes, no Sky, no fucking menu.... no rights.
Fiona McEvoy, of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, said: “While the law-abiding brace themselves for cuts in services, criminals are being fed better than patients, schoolchildren and the elderly in many cases.” Quite!
Yep, it's clobbering those hard working taxpayers again....What was Nick Clegg said again?