We're such lucky bastards!

This piece highlights the key changes the Lisbon Treaty brings to the only elected (by whom?) European institution - the European Parliament. Here are the top 5 critical changes

1. New EP: better equipped for today's challenges

The Lisbon Treaty improves the ability of the EU and its Parliament to act and deliver. At a time when both Europe and the rest of the world are faced with new challenges like globalisation, demographic shifts, climate change (that old chestnut still in the bag then?), energy security and terrorism, no single state can effectively deal with them alone (you think we need you?). Only by working together, in a more efficient, accountable, transparent (accountable and transparent, they haven't produced accounts for 12 years!!!!) and coherent way and speaking with one voice, can Europe respond to its citizens' concerns (can we have a referendum please, no I didn't think so).. The reform treaty makes your Parliament better equipped for today's and tomorrow's challenges - in a growing EU. Further, with Lisbon, your Parliament will also enjoy a new right to propose future treaty changes (bollocks to that)

2. New EP: more powers in shaping Europe

With the Lisbon Treaty, the European Parliament will have more power in shaping Europe than ever before. With its full legislative power extending to over 40 new fields (what a nightmare), Parliament becomes a truly equal lawmaker with the Council of Ministers, representing member states governments. Agriculture, energy security, legal immigration, justice and home affairs, public health and structural funds are just a few of the areas where Parliament acquires full authority. Its decisions will have an ever stronger impact on your everyday life (just fuck off please)

3. New EP: tighter hold on EU's purse strings

From now on, the Parliament will decide on the entire EU budget together with the Council of Ministers. Until now, it did not have the final word on "compulsory expenditure" (around 45% of the EU budget) such as spending relating to agriculture or international agreements. This changes as the Parliament becomes responsible for the entire EU budget, together with EU governments. Your Parliament will not only have a decisive say on overall spending priorities, but will also have a tighter hold on the EU's purse strings (no say for the poor fucking bastards paying for all this with their taxes then, I thought not).

4. New EP: greater say on who runs the EU (err where's democracy?)

In the Lisbon era, the Parliament will not only decide what is done and how money is spent, it will also have a greater say on which men and women run the EU (WELL, IT FUCKING SHOULDN'T, THAT IS NOT DEMOCRATIC). The Parliament will elect the President of the European Commission, on the basis of the EU heads of state and government's pre-selection, which must take into account the results of European elections - and your choice. Also, Parliament's consent (WHAT ABOUT OUR FUCKING CONSENT) is needed in the appointment of the EU's new voice in the world and foreign policy chief, the High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy, who will also be a Commission Vice-President.

5. New EP: stronger voice for Europe's citizens

New power means more responsibility. As the only directly-elected EU institution, the Parliament will have new tools to give a stronger voice to the 500 million citizens it represents and to hold the EU accountable to them. The Parliament will be the guardian of EU citizens' new catalogue of civil, political, economic and social rights - the Charter of Fundamental Rights - embedded in the Lisbon Treaty, as well as their new right of citizens' initiative, which will allow people to call for new policy proposals if supported by 1 million signatures. Also, it will safeguard national parliaments' right to object to European level legislative proposals should they consider them to concern matters better dealt with at national level.

They're not even pretending to be democratic FFS!!!!!

What a complete lot of bollox. I want out, NOW!!!!