We know where Gordon has been!

Iain Martin's blog on Saturday posed a curious question. "Are we absolutely sure that Gordon Brown is still Alive?"

"Gordon Brown is nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he is very busy. It is said by his aides that he is writing letters direct to aggrieved voters - but there are so many of them that that would surely take years. In a public spirited fashion, I have asked fellow Britons if they have seen Brown in the last week and, frankly, they struggle. Said one friend: "Wasn't he pictured kissing a baby or something at nursery? I have a vague recollection he was." But how can we be sure that the footage was new and not months old? The Soviets went in for that kind of fakery all the time.

Indeed, in foreign tin-pot dictatorships it is a familiar pattern: dictator retreats to bunker, refuses to be seen in public, rumours circulate and aides eventually have to produce some footage purported to show the father of the nation in good spirits.

I think the answer in this case is for Brown to appear on television holding up a copy of today's Telegraph. That way he can prove conclusively he is still at the helm"

He's been hiding in the bunker at No. 10 Downing Street and he's been busy blogging we can reveal!