Just for the record, I love dumb blonde jokes so feel free to leave yours in the comments.
Anti-terrorism measures in Austria
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.Happy NWO Year.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
ReplyDelete14! One to find the torch. One to put new batteries in the torch. One to put the batteries back in the right way round. One to hold the torch. One to hold the stepladders. One to climb up and unplug the old bulb. One to catch the old bulb when it gets dropped. One to go to the shops to buy a replacement. One to climb up and plug in the new bulb. One to test the new bulb works. One to remind the blonde with the torch to switch it off. One to put the stepladders away. One to organise the celebration dinner / dance. And one to design the T-shirt with the message "It only took 13 Blondes to change the light bulb!"
Ah! the benifits of spending a little more on the crackers.
ReplyDeleteIt was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same villages and towns.
ReplyDeleteWhen he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent him on his way with a cheque for £50.
At the second house the family presented him an 18-carat gold watch.
The folks at the third house handed him a bottle of 18-year old single malt Scotch whisky.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When they went downstairs, the blonde fixed him a full English breakfast: Bacon, Eggs, Sausage & Tomato with freshly squeezed orange juice. As she was pouring him a mug of steaming hot tea, he noticed a pound coin in the saucer.
'All this was just too wonderful for words,' he said, 'but what's the quid for?'
'Well,' said the dumb blonde, 'Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what I should give you'.
He said, 'F**k him. Give him a quid.'
She smiled shyly and said, 'The breakfast was my idea.'
So long as collar & cuffs match .. who cares ? ... ;)
ReplyDeleteHow many blondes does it take to run the European Union.
ReplyDeleteJust one if they understand Directive 76/768/EEC
Peroxide Rules!!
Best joke I've heard all year. ;-) Actually it really did make Oi laff. Happy New Year, Sue.
ReplyDeleteOn the plus side, you can smoke away to your heart's content in a bar there. :)
ReplyDeleteI've got a good blonde joke cartoon for my Friday Funnies spot at Max's - If real life doesn't get in the way, as it did last week...
ReplyDeleteI was telling a blonde joke in a bar when three blondes objected. "Before you continue" the first one said "you should know, I am ladies arm wrestling champion, my friend is ladies Thai boxing champ and my other friend is a female pro wrestler, still feel like telling a blonde joke?"
ReplyDeleteOf course I stopped. Well I wasn't going to explain it three times was I?
Great jokes, thanks guys. Sue No.1 may be a brunette but this Sue is a blonde and I love the jokes. If I can find my favourite, about the blonde at the Pearly Gates, I'll post it later. Pure blonde logic.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks to Anoneumouse for voting Sue & Sue to run the EU next year - we do understand the directive about cosmetics - essentially we're being shafted, again, in the name of the UN, corporatism and Agenda21 ;)