Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Conservatism vs Socialism


If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

A socialist wants all guns banned.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

A socialist wants meat products banned for everyone.

If a conservative sees a foreign threat he thinks about how to defeat the enemy.

A socialist wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

A conservative homosexual lives life quietly.

A socialist demands legislated respect.

A black conservative sees himself as independently successful.

His socialist counterparts see themselves as victims in need of protection.

A conservative down and out thinks about how to get out of his situation.

A socialist wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn’t like a TV talk show host he switches channels

A socialist demands those he doesn’t like to be shut down.

A conservative non believer simply doesn’t go to church.

A socialist wants any mention of God or religion silenced (unless it’s a foreign religion of course).

If a conservative needs health care, he goes about shopping for it.

A socialist demands the rest of us pay for it.

If a conservative slips in a shop, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.

A socialist grabs his neck moans like he’s in Labour (which I’m sure he is) and sues.

A conservative will read this and have a good laugh.

A socialist will send me a nasty email and want it removed!

18 comments:

  1. I like this.

    I also very much like the "Freedom will dominate the world" sign. Made me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I disagree only with one point:

    "A socialist wants all guns banned."

    I don't think this is totally true. It'd be more accurate to say:

    "A socialist wants all guns banned except those possessed by the various branches of the socialist state."

    ReplyDelete
  3. Starting to sound like Britain, Costello!

    ReplyDelete
  4. When in debt, a conservative will work to repay what he owes.

    A socialist will borrow more, to spend more, thus stimulating him to pay back the debt. The circle then restarts.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A Conservative looks at himself and says "People are intrinsically like me and therefore should not be oppressed."

    A Socialist looks at a Conservative and says "People are intrinsically like you and therefore should be oppressed."

    ReplyDelete
  6. "If a conservative doesn’t like a TV talk show host he switches channels"

    Mary Whitehouse (dec'd) and the religious people (Christians or Islamists) are socialists, are they?

    Apart from that, good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  7. A great deal of truth there.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nice work, Sue. However are there many Conservatives left?

    ReplyDelete
  9. A *cough* libertarian (no conservative, me) sees a load of people having a good time, and says "not my kind of thing, I'll go elsewhere".

    A socialist will see people having fun which he doesn't personally enjoy, throw the incumbents out, and demand the place change into somewhere he might like to go ... one day.

    ReplyDelete
  10. re the cartoon, I spent last year buying up enough proper lightbulbs to see me into my grave. Suck on that, Socialists.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Shibby, I found the sign on another blog and liked it too, so I nicked it..

    Costello, quite true. A police state is a socialist state.

    Martin, I still don't understand how that's supposed to work. Probably something to do with the fact that Brown happens to be political history graduate rather than an accountant!

    Edgar, yes you're right. Socialists are nasty little turds. They hate the fact that someone else may be having a better life than them.

    Mark, didn't Mary Whitehouse want everything banned that wasn't presumed decent in her eyes? Infact, she's probably the mother of Political Correctness! Islam is the same I believe. Not sure about the Christians :)

    Gigits, that what I thought when I found the piece in one of those free rags here in the Costa.

    Oldrightie, I am still a Conservative and so are many others I know. I think Conservatism is an attitude, an outlook on life and not necessarily attributable to a particular party, especially not our Conservatives (which is a shame).

    Dick, I think the Conservatives should look at the Libertarians and say to themselves, that's what we used to believe. If the Conservatives were true to their values, they would lift the Smoking Ban and give people a choice.

    Banned, I can still buy any bulb I want here, although they don't use bayonet kind, they have a twisty bottom!

    Thank you all for your comments, I really enjoyed reading them this morning when I got up with my cuppa to check out my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sue, thanks for the visit, did you clock the date on the scan ?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yup, it was the year I was born... a very long time ago! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. A very good list of differences!

    I have passed this onto some of my lefty friends
    I am sure they will accuss me of a "hate" crimof some kind:-;

    ReplyDelete
  15. Brilliant, Sue, I really enjoyed this!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sue,
    Bloody well said! As usual, right on the money!

    Brilliant post!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is Offensive.

    Take it down.

    ReplyDelete